Category: Let's talk
I just wanted to see what you all would think of this email i got from an ex a few weeks ago. let me know what you think
The Rules of a Man
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
question.
8. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a
doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
11. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
13. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
14. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials
15. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
16. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit
We
have no idea what mauve is.
17. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
18. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
19. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
20. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
fine... Really.
21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
22. You have enough clothes.
23. You have too many shoes.
24. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
25. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?
There's one marked "Brightness," but it doesn't work
Lol. It's funny and serious at the same time.
I agree with some of it especially the part about men are not mind readers.
I personally don't like hints and things like that either.
That was absolutely hilarious. I totally agree with 1, 6, 7, 19, and 20. Seriously I don't do the whole wearing the suit and tye bit.
And I don't really care what the said girl wears either, casual is the way to go in my book.
...regarding #21...Did somebody say, "BaseBall?"
yeah yeah yeah connie...lol
agreed with chris, this board is fucking great. I agree with a great deal of it as well, lol
...yes we can both Yankee be in agreement that The Tigers and THE Yankees are playing a game of BaseBall tonight in DETROIT at 8 pm ... Unless of course there is ANOTHER "Rain out" or similar **Checking the skyes for this IS Michigan and who knows...It just might SNOW smile
I actually agree with some of these. The thing we women need to remember is that men are idiots, and we shouldn't expect too much from them. LOL
Now someone should come up with a similar list for women to give men.
Heh, good stuff. I think you posted this in a Quicknote when I was less than a week-old Zoner. I wonder if there's any significance to the fact that it was sent to you by an ex? *Grins*. Either way, there is a bit of truth to it. Emphasis on "a bit". As Becky has already said, men are pretty stupid, so we must make things extra clear for them. Just one of the sacrifices of being a woman. Lol.
I couldn't have said it better my self. lol!
Mmm mmm mmmmm mmen (though there are exceptions...)
American football. Sinonamous with complete and utter bullocks.
...interesting guitargod1,
I lived in the US and the UK, hence my panzy football comment.
now i need to find the rules of a woman.
i'm sure those would be a little bit better, but who knows
Rules for a woman
The FEMALE makes The Rules.
The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No MALE can possibly know all The Rules.
If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows The Rules, she must immediately change The Rules.
The FEMALE is never wrong.
If the FEMALE is mistaken, it is a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
The MALE must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
The FEMALE may change her mind at any time.
The MALE must never change his mind without the written consent of the FEMALE
The FEMALE has the right to be upset or angry at any time.
The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry and/or upset.
If the FEMALE has PMS, all The Rules are null and void.
The MALE is expected to mind read constantly and act accordingly.
Any attempt to document The Rules could result in actual bodily harm.
The MALE who doesn't abide by The Rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a whimp.
Having once been married, I can attest to the truthfulness of these rules.
I think I'd rather be a praying mantis.
Bob
Austin's Angel, I totally agree with every rule written by your X, and if anyone is aware of a girl who is willing to comply with them all, send her in my direction.
i dout finding a woman like that is possible, to be honest, i think there'd be something wrong with her if she agreed with all of the rules.
I love it I thought it was pretty funny. I'm not much of a sports fan so don't relate to that too much but definately agree about the toilet seat!!!
It's much more fun to break the rules and that goes for both parties. Dare to be different!
lol yeah, aren't rules meant to be broken?
Damn straight! I think my fiancee and I are proof that we just don't fit the stereotypes and thank goodness for that. Yeah, I know it's humor, but there's supposed to be a grain of truth in humor.